Banning Media

A parent in St. Pete, Florida stated that the movie, Ruby Bridges, should not be shown in the elementary school her child attends because it teaches

that white people hate black people. I am a teacher but I have never taught at the elementary level. But I was taught was to respond to “teachable moments.” This is definitely one.

I was in elementary school in the early 1960’s on the south side of Chicago. And I cannot say if my parents or their friends hated black people but they didn’t want to live near them. We moved to the suburbs when I entered third grade. I remember one of my parents’ friends saying “those” people were moving onto our block. I was eight. I didn’t understand.

I also didn’t ask what that meant. That wasn’t done but I was confused.

I want to believe what the Florida parent means well. I really do. But I would take this opportunity to have a teachable moment.

Because in our present, the proof that people don’t hate each other is not there. I wish we had dealt with this much earlier in our history. But we didn’t. We moved forward and “papered” over our past. We never dealt with the horrendous history. We didn’t have time. We believed that our country was special, different than others.

Over time we have proved we are not. We are fallible human beings that make horrendous choices. We don’t want to look back because, deep down, we know we’ve screwed up.

I believe this is a teachable moment that is long overdue. Our history needs to told with all its warts. We must come to terms before we destroy ourselves. This has been a “both/and” moment for a couple hundred years. But we have not been strong enough. Not willing to examine ourselves. But now we must face our failures and move forward.

I teach college students now. Both young and old. Immigrant, persons of color. LGBTQIA and not. Many who are multiracial. And I can say that most of are. DNA can show us how alike we really are, deep down!

It’s reckoning day, everyone! Time to own up to our shortcomings and begin to live for the future. We are one little country on one little planet in one little galaxy. Time to heal ourselves.

Time to see that our differences are not that different. That we are better and stronger BECAUSE of our diversity, not in spite of it.

Time to see each other as the unique individuals that we are.

AND TO CELEBRATE EACH UNIQUE BEING AS PART OF OUR WHOLE. This is what makes us strong. It’s time to grow up.

New Thinking for a New Year!

I heard someone ask this morning, what is the most important thing in life to you? It’s an interesting question, isn’t it?! I know I would answer it differently at different times of my life. How about you?

Remember when you were eight? What was MOST important to your eight year old self? What about age eighteen? Twenty-five? Thirty-two? Forty-one? Fifty? Sixty-five?

I’m stopping there because I turned sixty-five this past year?

I was listening to NPR Weekend Edition this morning and Scott Simon interviewed a brain surgeon who written about his journey dealing with prostrate cancer. Simon’s last question was what I asked above.

My mind started wandering back through my life. I have always wanted to be happy and enjoy whatever part of my life in that moment. To be happy with what I’m doing, where I am, and who I’m with.

Most times, I can say I lived up to that.

As I look back now, I see where I’ve been, I’m good with my past. Have I made mistakes? Oh, yeah….. some really big ones. Some that I really regret! But overall, I’m content with where I am physically and emotionally at this point.

I start to wonder how I will be remembered and what will happen after this life is over. It used to terrify me but not as much now. Death was never a stranger in my life. It started when I was five or six. I understand it’s part of life. I miss those I’ve lost, human and animal but I remember the happy times and smile.

I know eventually it will happen to me. But not at this moment. Age has a way of evening out everything. Death will come to all of us in its own time.

Maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe not. But I always think about how I want to be remembered. I hope those who do remember me will have more good memories than bad. I hope my Ma knew that I loved her.

This post is not meant to be morbid or sad. It is to remind me and maybe those who happen upon it, to live each day as best you can, to have regrets AND happiness as the day ends but know that tomorrow is coming and you can try again.

Love who you are. Love who you are becoming. Understand your humanity. Life is the chance we have to take. Take it and have fun! Wherever it takes you!

I

Our Collective Shame, Our Opportunity to Change

The Worst Thing We’ve Ever Done

I know many will not listen to this broadcast. Whether they agree or disagree. I have always used the excuse that my ancestors did not immigrate until close to the beginning of the 20th century.

Many of us do not realize that domestic terrorism has always existed in this country. We do not want to believe that our beginnings were based on these “evident truths” as well as the lofty goals that our founding documents put forward. The first set we have never acknowledged how pervasive they are. The second we have still not realized.

Does that mean we should now vilify our ancestors for their failings? I don’t know. I can say that people AFTER Reconstruction, who allowed the legislation of “black equals less than” to become an integral part of our history need to named and shamed.

The massacre in Tulsa, the lynchings that happened across our country, not just the former Confederacy, the idea that color determined social and economic progress. These things need to be brought into the light, taught in schools and trips to places like below need to be put on everyone’s list of places to visit and learn from, integrated into our United States History classes.

Our current president said in his speech yesterday that people want to “indoctrinate” our children. We DO indoctrinate our children. We teach them about the sanitized, pretty history that all of us were told in schools. The “acceptable” parts of history that show us in the best light and make us proud. If we are the appropriate people.

We ignore the mistakes we have made along the way. They say each generation rewrites history to suit it’s own needs. It is true. We gloss over stuff that upsets us, scares us and makes us think about “icky, yucky” stuff.
It is time to face our fears. We must face our fear. We must allow it to pass through us. We must examine it. And then we can turn an inner eye to see it’s path through us. And I hope we can all see, that where the fear has gone, ONLY WE WILL REMAIN.

WE WILL BE STRONGER, AS A COUNTRY, AS AMERICANS. AND WE WILL BE UNITED AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE.

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Fluid History, Statues and Monuments – Destruction or What?

Most of us think history is static. It happened long ago and we know the facts. We’ve all read parts of history. It’s a required subject in school. It’s dull and boring. It’s about dates and dead people. We don’t have anything in common with any historical figures. Did I miss anything?

But part of the issue is that all history was the present to those people who were there. They didn’t know they would become historical figures, they were just living their lives. They may have written their thoughts, ideas, concerns and feelings down. But by the time we get to read them, they are gone. So WE have to interpret what they meant, saw, and felt about what they observed or lived through.

It is said that every generation rewrites history to suit its own needs. That doesn’t mean they just toss out the verifiable facts. It means that as we move forward, more information comes to light and it can change how we view history. If we never looked at history, we would have never learned anything and would probably have become extinct already.

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I was watching The View this morning, and they were discussing the monuments, statues and names across our county. This part came from their discussion.

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Your discussion of the monuments across the country was good. I understand Sunny’s information, Meghan’s point of view, Whoopi’s empathy & passion and Joy’s passion as well.

Maybe we need to add more monuments, memorials and change names as appropriate, not just deface, destroy and remove the current statues. Part of history is learning about how each successive generation adds to the richness of our stories.

Adding context always gives people more information to understand and digest before reaching a conclusion.

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Yes, many of our Founders owned slaves and acted as was acceptable at the time. I ‘m not saying it was appropriate or correct, just that it was. But even those who didn’t own slaves profited from the slave economy of the South. So, everyone in some way was complicit.

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Lincoln felt blacks were inferior but knew they needed to be freed. Does that make him a bad or a good President? Yes and no. It’s makes him a human being from his time period. That’s all. Had he not been assassinated maybe our reconstruction and reintegration would have been different. Grant owned a slave that he eventually freed. He tried to enforce equalization but trusted that everyone was as altruist as he was.

Everyone makes mistakes. Our country is held together by human beings and their beliefs. We should never lie to our children as we teach them our history. That was done in the past to create a sense of the United States that people could be proud of and wanted to belong to. I’m not saying that’s the truth or a bunch of lies.

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What I am trying to say is that ALL our Presidents, politicians, leaders, and military leaders were flawed. They were products of their times. But they, and all the “muck-ups,” are part of our collective history. We need to step back and have a discussion as you do on your show, to come to terms with our history, flawed as it is.

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Then, I believe, we can come to terms about our vilification and deification of ALL our historical figures. And realize that they were human beings, just like us. No better, no worse. They had ideas, beliefs and convictions that lead them to try to make things different than they found them. It was the fact that they tried that is the important part.

Just my two cents!

P.S., Being the good lesbian that I am, I would not object to the creation of this as a statue:

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Gender Neutral?

Dyke is Not a Gender-Neutral Word. That’s Why It’s Powerful.*

I remember the first time I was called dyke. It shocked me. I was afraid of the word. It was meant to hurt me.

 
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was meant as a derogatory term and to make me “less than.”  Well, for me that just wouldn’t do.  Even before I knew I was one, I knew I was different, not like many of the other girls, I knew. 

I decided at way back then that it was okay with me if I was different.  (and it was a number of things not just my orientation) I decided I would be unique.  I would be me as much as I could.

 
That’s not to say I didn’t struggle with my orientation.  I did. I was naivé about sexual orientation as we call it today. I just knew I loved who I loved with my whole heart. 

When I finally figured it out, in my late 20s, I was amazed that there were other women like me. 

And then someone called me a dyke.

There were no protections then. I could be fired, I almost was. I could be attacked, I have been. But I had found people like me. I was home.  So if anyone wants to call me a dyke these days, I try to remember to say Thank You, for recognizing my individuality.  (there is still that visceral reaction of WHAT??!! but I move past that.) 

Some may not like the term. Many have used it in a derogatory fashion. It’s a label.

But you know, I’m okay with the label. There was a time when I wasn’t.

But I support women of all orientations.

I love women in any shape or form. I admire women be they bold or shy. I listen to women who speak. I listen to women who are quiet. All women are a force to be reckoned with. Conservative women, liberal women, independent women. Whether they admit to it or not, they break barriers, disrupt the status quo, invade and violate society’s norms and push the envelope. That is their superpower.

I know men are saying, “wait, what about us?” Well, I love men as well, but not in a sexual or romantic sense, most of the time. As with many of us, I tried that route. I like men, but I don’t what to take one home with me. I can honestly say the men I loved, I loved the same way I love everything. I jump in with BOTH feet. But with men, it was only about to my waist. When I romantically and/or physically love a woman, I jump in with BOTH feet all the way up to my spiky hair.

Apparently, I am passionate about stuff.

*Claire Heuchanon July 24, 2019 on AfterEllen.com

Reading

When I was a kid, my parents and others taught me to read. I think it was to keep me quiet when they had company or we went out. It was something I never really thanked them for when I grew up.

Books took me everywhere. One week I was a pirate on Treasure Island, the next I was solving a mystery with Nancy Drew or “Brains” Benton. With Jules Verne, I explored the sea. I read about Greek, Roman, Indian, and Norse mythology. I read about Johnny Appleseed and our Founders. Ray Bradbury and Frank Herbert made believe that space travel was possible. Doctor Who books, while campy, when I started reading them, made me wish time travel existed so I could witness it in person.

I read everything I could get my hands on, cereal boxes, the newspaper, and even directions.

It got better (or worse, depending on your point of view). I was always ahead in my reading in school. I read biographies, histories, and discovered the Civil War. (I lived in Chicago, IL so it was natural.) It has always intrigued me that we, as a country, could fight and kill each other so indiscriminately. (This is what scares me about our current events.)

But I digress.

Reading taught me to think, to examine and even how to love.

In confirmation classes through the Lutheran Church, I had to read and memorize Luther’s Catechism both the Bible and Church stuff and Luther’s explanations of them. I had to recite them. (Can’t remember a thing of this). However, we also had to be able to understand them and debate them. We did. But we did begin to understand exegesis and hermeneutics. We didn’t learn those words but it’s what we were doing as young teens (12-14). Maybe this is where I began to think critically and not take everything I read as the “truth.”

My Mother also bought me a book, A Separate Peace, which introduced me to a more complex world. I don’t remember a lot of the book, but it had the first ever sex scene I read. And it was explicit, as least, in my 13 year old mind. I had read The Godfather, the year before as well. So that was my introduction to relationships. I sometimes wonder if these books colored my viewpoint?

I didn’t discover romance as a genre until I was in college and then they were frowned upon by my peers. I had evaded reading the classic romances. I didn’t have to take English Literature so I took other literature classes, more contemporary stuff like James Baldwin, mysteries, and science fiction. I read more philosophy, satire and poetry. Still, trying to find something that made sense to me. I always identified with the male protagonist in the books I read, except when I found a strong female lead character. Even then I couldn’t understand why she would attach herself to a man, and then begin to defer to him.

That’s not what happened in my world. My Mother was a strong woman. My Dad was a strong man until what is now called Alzheimer’s attacked his mind. Then my Mother had to take on all the decision making on her own. She did it, but I saw the toll it took on her. I was a teenager, and did not know what to do except try to help. Even then, she allowed me to be a typical teenager as much as possible.

I continued to read. Mostly, science fiction and mysteries. My escape into fantastic worlds, different solar systems, and places where problems, murders, and other crimes were always solved by the time the last page came along.

Reading and research are my default. When I want to know about something, I research and read. It helps me to understand.

Is History Irrelevant?

We have tried to regulate history as not important in the 21st century. Books published at the beginning of the century talked about the end of history. Thomas Friedman said the world was now flat. 

History is not about the past. It’s about how we adapt to change. 
Everything we have ever done causes us to react in ways that affect our future.  
We are an amalgamation of our experiences, both personally and collectively. How we raise our children, what our priorities are, are all based on our individual histories. 

Our society has evolved from how our ancestors dealt with everything. Whether we perpetuated positive or negative policies, expanded or contracted government, how our laws work or not. Our entire legal system is based on precedents (that’s history). 

History is complicated, nuanced and always changing. Partly because of historians. Good historical research constantly looks for new information to deepen and enrich our understanding of the past. These things encourage others to relook at how that past affects our current world. We can see the ramifications of decisions. We can evaluate what worked, what did not, and what was not tried. 

Isn’t this what life is all about?

Looking at ourselves, collectively and individually, figuring out what moved us forward and what did not. Then continuing along the path that allows us to deal with our screwups, celebrate our successes and move forward to change what needs to be changed to make this planet a better, safer place for ALL the people who live on it. 

Or did I miss a memo, again?